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The Head of Slytherin

ZOMGBBQDRAUGHTOFLIVINGDEATH, LOOK!

Severus Snape at Spinners End

Click here for the full-size hi-res image.

Extreme Snape closeup:

Severus Motherfucking Snape, bitches!

I am nearly inarticulate with a cocktail of excitement and lust. In fact, I had the following exchange with Honu Girl just now:

Honu Girl: awesome pic!
Sarah: god god god god god god god
god god god god god god
Honu Girl: Are you going to be okay? Do I need to send a cold shower over to you?
Sarah: PONIESHOLYSHIT
no no no
trying so hard to keep it in
may barf and orgasm all at once
Honu Girl: That would not be good. Please don’t barf.
Sarah: aweiohrpowaisjfklsjae[0r895osdfjklhas;9ufiskajdfjsad;fl

Can we talk about this picture? Can we talk about all the details of Spinner’s End? The ratty armchair? The books? The little glimpse of kitchen and it’s broken drawer handles. And the little bottle there on the corner, like soap or something. Look at his wand, lying there on the books, which are sitting on a footstool because they’ve overflowed the bookshelves. And I’m concerned about that end table. The table in the book is described as “rickety” and that looks like it came out of a Restoration Hardware. Look at his fingers! And his crotch! Shut up, you know I always look at his crotch. Look at the mantle and what’s on it. What’s in that black and what photo? Eileen and Tobias? What’s in the brass jar? It looks like it has a little plaque on it. Look at the mid-century design numbers on the clock. The window in the kitchen has some cheap ass blinds, too. And it looks like it’s raining outside. What do you think? Tell me what you think! Please!

And also here’s Bellatrix interrogating him. But Snaaaaaaape!

Geekery

Autographs on Imperial Decks “B” and “C” Near the Coke Machines

Hey, Commander, uh. So, as I was saying, in “The Quasar Dilemma”, you used the auxiliary of deck b– could you get this … deck B for Gamma override. The thing is that online blueprints indicate deck b is independent of the guidance matrix, so we were wondering where the error lies?

Lexpionage, Swear Words, Curses, and Invective

Warp + Giga = HugeFast Insults

Just when I thought I might not be blogging today, I liked through the regular daily reading to Counting Cats in Zanzibar and found this priceless motherfucking heirloom of an insult:

warp-factor 9 gigacunt

I know I haven’t loved on them in a while, but it still goes without saying that I want to kiss Nick M. right on the lips.

For those of you playing along at home for a very long time now, do you think “giga” could replace “octo” as the Extremity Prefix of choice? Would that make you sad in a Mag missing way? Do you think “Extremity Prefix” would be a good name for a band? I do.

Lexpionage, Words Other People Love and Therefore So Do I

The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English

From C, here is Robert “Dr. Goodword” Beard’s list of the 100 Most Beautiful Words in English. She says it’s nonsense, automatically and cites the inclusion of the word “ethereal.” I don’t know that I’d go that far, but I don’t think “beleaguer” is particularly beautiful at all. There seems to be a prejudice toward polysyllably, too, with only three monosyllabic words on the list.

Anyway, of his favorites, I decided to pick one from each letter. My favorites of his bests are: ailurophile, bungalow, comely*, denouement, esculent, fluke, gossamer*, halcyon (the only H!), insouciance (I really like that one), lilt (that one, too), moiety, nemesis*, onomatopoeia*, propinquity, quintessential, redolent, sussurous (love this!), tintinnabulation*, umbrella**, vestige, waft, and there is no Z*.

* My personal substitutes, which I gave myself all of 20 seconds to think of, so subject to change but I like these better at any rate: concupiscence, glee, hectic, nuzzle, oscillate, torque, zymurgy.

** Umbrella is a great word, but I love the French word for umbrella so much I can hardly stand it: parapluie.

What do you think of his choices? What would yours be?

Free for all Friday

Free for All Friday 27

Welcome to another crushingly large FFAF! Please feel free to use the comments to start as much shit as you want. Bonus points for Perez Hilton snark, not caring too much about Michael Jackson, and very short stories about how quickly we’ll be plunged into the Dark Ages if the Cap-and-Trade bill passes today. Go go go!

  • First, from Poptart: Augmented Reality Zombie Hunting Game! Woooo!
  • Lego candles!
  • Want to play an annoyingly difficult flash game? Circle the Cat. I’m told Marcie beat it. Which makes me a little scared of her.
  • Rain of tadpoles
  • Boy hit by meteorite or massive proof that most journalists are just lazy as hell? You have to read the comments to get that bit tho.
  • Five brilliant words: Big Gay Ice Cream Truck!
  • Fallen princesses. Belle gets botox. Ew.
  • Hilarious public notice hoaxes in Philadelphia.
  • Now you can file a Hurt Feelings Report. Once filed, please be prepared for the possibility that you may required to attend a mandatory seminar on Putting On Your Big Girl Panties.
  • Chipmunks and Star Wars.

    He was able to convince the chipmunks to pose using a mixture of perseverance and almonds.

  • Fresh photos from Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. No Rickman as The Caterpillar yet, but I’m almost glad of it. I have a feeling it’s going to make me very uncomfortable.
  • Amputee tattoos. Hey, Skillzy? We still getting tattoos?
  • CliqueClack TV mines my dreams with What if We Got Rid of TV News?

    Imagine if there weren’t any CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, Headline News, CNBC, or FOX Business. Imagine if we went back to the old model of three networks, one half-hour a day, once a day. We could supplement instantaneous need to know with the Internet, and then have our national discussion of the days events together, at the same time every day.

    Can you imagine it? Why, reporters would actually have to report. And ask real live questions. That the people being interviewed didn’t actually provide them with. Fuckers! Christ. Okay. Moving on.

  • American Studies at American Digest gives us The Centennarian:

    If you knew that everyday for the rest of your life, you’d be dressed in diapers and confined to a wheelchair with blurred eyesight in a small brick walled room what would you do? If you knew that at every meal for the rest of your life a woman who talked to you as if you were a baby would spoon three flavors of baby food into your mouth, what would you do? If, opening your eyes, you knew that all you would see would be a bright fluorescent glare and the blurred shapes of dozens of others, mostly women, lolling about in wheelchairs, what would you do? If you knew to a dead, solid certainty that you were never going to be released from your room until you were released, at long last, from your body, what would you do? If you were a sane man, just what would you, at long last, do?

    I don’t know about you, but I would figure a way out and if that way out was only deeper in, that’s where I’d go. I’d go deep into my palace of memories and I’d use all my energy to construct a world inside that was made of the most vivid moments of all the years I’d lived.

    It’s beautiful and worth reading in its entirety.

  • File under WTF But I’ll Still Buy It: Firefly Official Companion Vol. 3 due next year. Even Whedonesque wants to know what’s up. I mean, what’s left to cover? You’d think if they were doing a critical reading of smutty fanfiction, someone would have consulted me.
  • HOSHITSPIDERS
  • Your weekly shot of DOOOOMED: There are nine stages of civilization and we’re in the seventh. Yes? No? Some of those big girl panties I was going on about?
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitchen Appliances.
  • Patriarch of the Church of Ethiopia says he’s going to unveil the Arc of the Covenant. Okay, first, this isn’t like Bobby Jim the Pastor down at the Jet-Pep Truck Stop Baptist Gathering and Tractor Pull. This dude is learned. He is a scholar. You would think somebody would have told him that his eyes are going to melt out of his head!
  • The X-Men Relationship chart. Wow. I mean, wow.
  • 10 Amazing Facts about B.O. Don’t tell me you don’t come here to get your learn on. I know you do! Dig this:

    The male chemical androstadienone in sweat was found to regulate menstrual cycle and increase the release of luteinizing hormone, which plays an important role in stimulating ovulation. The male underarm odor also activates certain brain areas, improving woman’s mood and sexual arousal.

    Yep!

  • Cheez-It Flavored lip balm. The author seems surprised that anyone would want to use this. I’m surprised anybody doesn’t.
  • Gallery of stuck Tic-tacs.
  • Beef jerky panties.

Bacon, homeskillets