Meanwhile!

• Meowmania!

  Speaking of cats, would you like one? I have several spare. Like, 6 spare, plus several two-day old kittens that will be ready for homes in a few weeks. Help me not become a crazy cat lady, please!

• Harrison Bergeron, by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
  

  THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal.

• Israel and the Surrender of the West, by Shelby Steele:
  

  It doesn’t matter that much of the world may actually know better. This template has become propriety itself, a form of good manners, a political correctness. Thus it is good manners to be outraged at Israel’s blockade of Gaza, and it is bad manners to be outraged at Hamas’s recent attack on a school because it educated girls, or at the thousands of rockets Hamas has fired into Israeli towns—or even at the fact that Hamas is armed and funded by Iran. The world wants independent investigations of Israel, not of Hamas.

• Long-exposure photography
• How to Drink Like Mad Men: the rules, the booze, the gear and the recipes. I’d just like to take this opportunity to say, “Ha! Tanqueray! IN YOUR FACE, SKILLZY!”

  That right there is not an example of being smooth like a mad man or like Joan Holloway, but it felt good.

• Related:
  
• Toward an Entitlement Society. What do you think?
• A Brief History of Computer Icons
• Diversity and the Myth of White Privilege
• How to Wear White, tips from 1948
• A Brief Flowchart History of Lolcats
• From Apollo, Five Second Film: Hipster Superman
  
• One man’s thoughts on the redefinition of the word “justice.” I think a lot of what he has to say has merit, especially this:
  

  When someone is trying to change the meaning of a word, it pays to perk up one’s ears and ask why.

• Via Honu Girl, Whooping Cough: Back with a Vengeance.
  

  California’s epidemic has blossomed in a state that gives some of the most generous “personal belief exemptions” from vaccination — and the epidemic’s worst hot spots neatly correlate with the most concentrated areas of vaccine refusal.

  Just like the measels!

• Are you a cosmetics hoarder? Here’s a handy checklist. I’m not. I can’t imagine buying pretty makeups and not using them!
• Why Edward Cullen Sparkles: A Scientific Paper of True Facts of Science.
• The Year America Dissolved
  

  When hubris sent America in pursuit of overseas empire, the venture coincided with the offshoring of American manufacturing, industrial, and professional service jobs and the corresponding erosion of the government’s tax base, with the advent of massive budget and trade deficits, with the erosion of the fiat paper currency’s value, and with America’s dependence on foreign creditors and puppet rulers.

Phew. Little political today. But boozy, with a tasty Harry Potter finish.

Since we last talked about lipstick, I have probs doubled my collection. I am not kidding. I gave in, went nuts, and am now keeping my collection mostly in two 3×5 index card holders, but they are no longer sufficient to the task and so those are full and my overflowing makeup bag has liners and stains and my desk has five different lipsticks in it and I’ve always got four or five things in my purse and wow.

And also I got obsessed with nail polish and doing my nails every day and that’s a collection unto itself.

I want to start beauty blogging a bit, but my camera died and it would cost more to send it to Canon to fix it than it would to just go to Wal Mart and buy a new point-and-shoot (which would, funnily enough, have about twice the megapixels) and so come pay day, maybe I will take more pictures of my lip products for you to enjoy or ignore, at your leisure.

And just to get it out of the way, I think I’m done with the bacon, y’all. I am just baconed out. I’ll eat it, certainly. But I am no longer willing to commit time to scouring the internet for tasty bacon recipes. I am, however, willing to entertain the idea of another food or foods or something that we could all get excited about every week. Please make suggestions. And don’t just say, “meat.” It’s a big internet.

Otherwise, here we go. Remember that if you’re going to get down and dirty, you need to do it in the pudding. Otherwise, high fives all around.

• Natural Movement Training and Conditioning:
  

  I’m interested in this sort of training. I’m finding again this summer that running is just not for me above about 80 degrees. And even when I get up and out onto the trail by 5:15 a.m., the heat index is still usually 85 or so. I shamble along for 2.5 or so miles before I just want to drop dead. I’m a drag on my training partners and I’m getting burnt out and hateful. So I need a new workout. I’d like to try something like that.

• The Periodic Table of Meat
• How to Win at Rock Paper Scissors
• Via David Thompson, a stonking huge ant colony.
• How to open a bottle of wine with your shoe
• Curtains made from slides
• How to Access the Internet, a Guide from 2025:
  

  Getting your Internet Surfing License is a necessary prerequisite in making the web safe for everyone. Before governments made the ISL mandatory, people often found themselves lost in the myriad of web sites, naively double-clicking Hit The Monkey to Win iPad ads, finding themselves spammed by pop-unders. Acquiring the license typically takes only between 2-5 days of education by your local Surf Training School. You will need to carefully prepare for the final test, in which you are required to answer simple questions like:

  * What is a pyramid scheme, and do they really work?
  * How do I replace the solar cells on my cyber glove?
  * Why exactly is it bad for people to badmouth their governments or big companies online?

• From Apollo, Tom Jones and The Cardigans cover Burning Down the House
• He also sends you the felicitations of The 28 Best Photos of Christina Hendricks. I think I speak for all of us when I say, “Hnnng.”
• And because it’s not a FfaF without spiders, check out this infestation!
• Breitbart sums up JournoList: Yes, but the reporters at Pravda weren’t such insufferable assholes.
• Behold the new logo of Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers.
• Strawberry Cream Pie
• A list of common misconceptions
• The biggest star ever! No foolin’!

Which is to say, when I wasn’t funneling prozac down my gullet with jeroboams of wine, I read. I am thinking of making a list of books here, but mostly you could go to my Goodreads page and friend me there, because I do tend to keep it updated.

Point is! Books! I read them. But! I didn’t take notes on new words. Occasionally I learned a new word and thought, “Oh, I should blog that.” Then I came over all sweaty and shaky and had to go get another drink.

Blogging anxiety or the DTs– they’re so similar.

Anyway, two words, or one word and a suffix, I am trying to use lately:

1. “rad” as in, “This sobriety thing is rad.”*
2. “-balls” as a replacement for -ly, as in “Last night we got amazeballs drunk and played mariokart and I came in third!”**

Do you all have vocabulary goals? Is it strange to have vocabulary goals?

* Or so I hear.
** That’s totes a lie. I came in 12th.

No, there you go, I just heard it come on. No, that’s the music you hear when it comes on. No, that’s the music you hear when… I’m sorry, are you from the past?

Last week, I spent a fantastic afternoon in Georgia visiting Poptart. We were eating and bemoaning the travesty that is tea without ice and out of the blue, in answer to a question I wasn’t really sure I’d asked, she said, “Or you could start blogging again.”

Christopher, sitting across from us, eating a panini, and drinking an iceless fruit punch, choked. Once he got his breathing under control he said, “People keep telling her that.”

“Really?” Poptart asked.

“Really,” Christopher said.

“Yeah,” I continued. “I go out with Chez and Apollo and one of them says something funny and I say, ‘Oh, somebody needs to tweet that.’ Then one of them says, ‘No, you need to blog it.’ I say, ‘Bah.’”

“You do!” Chorused Poptart.

“Apollo calls it a near-blogging experience,” I added.

Poptart and Christopher laughed and I prodded at my salad while they continued to talk.

Everybody who knows me, who knows this blog, who ever read it, seems to be waging a subtle campaign to bring it back. “If only for Free for All Friday!” They say. Honu Girl, who’s there to hold my hand when, in the twice that I’ve fired things up since last Christmas, I’ve had full on panic attacks, says to do what I think is best, always subtly nudges me toward writing again.

The only person I haven’t really heard from is Doc. But he got as sick as I did last winter, so I send him good, loving thoughts and hope he’s happy.

Meanwhile, y’all, last winter I got very, very sick. Heartsick and soulsick and everybitofmesick til I didn’t want to get out of bed, because I’d just go back a few hours later; I didn’t want to eat because I’d just have to do it again a few hours later. I didn’t want to talk, or sing, or write, or bathe, or eat, or talk or anything. I just wanted to lie in bed and sleep, or not. First I stopped commenting on stories, then I stopped reading them. I stopped chatting. I stopped emailing. I stopped writing. I stopped singing. I stopped reading anything. I stopped talking. I stopped getting out of bed. The only times I got out of bed were to work and to run. Go to work; run five miles. Rinse. Repeat.

But I had a good husband and good friends to help me out. They pulled me out of bed and called on the parts of me that know that work is good, and success is right, and made me talk. And they made me tell them all these things. And then they said, “Sarah, it’s time for meds.” And I said, “Whatever. It’ll just be the same tomorrow.” And they said, “That may be. But tomorrow and then another tomorrow and then another tomorrow and eventually it won’t be that way.” And they were right.

I got some meds. And it took a while for them to kick in, as it always does. I got to the point where I couldn’t be bothered to tie my shoes. I got to the point where I couldn’t be bothered to type, and so sat staring a screen or two, hands in my lap, not thinking or feeling or anything. And then they kicked in and I started to feel better and better and better.

And now I look around what I feel like should be the wreckage of who I am, but it’s not particularly wrecked. It’s just a bit dusty, a little neglected, and needs a hug or two. If you’re reading this, I’d hug you. If you’re reading this it means you subscribe or, with mysterious faith, still click a link everyday or every week to see if something is still happening. Thank you. Thank you very, very much. This endeavor is as much about you as it is about me.

Sarah Et Cetera has always been more about community than cult of personality. In my imagination, I am a hostess at the swankiest of salons, providing scintillating topics and delicious refreshments for erudite people eager to discuss the issues of the day, philosophy, spaceships, and wizards together. And that’s what I still want to be.

So, don’t call it a come back, bitches, but here it is. Changes, of the big sort, coming soon. And no guarantees for weekday postings and ad-free-ness. I’ll post when I have something to say and sit tight when I don’t. I want to talk more about lipstick than anything else, so you know, there’s that. But I’ll be here.

If you want to be here with me, welcome. I heart you. Please stick around, help yourself, and let me and everybody else, know what’s on your mind. Sarah &C isn’t about me. It’s about all of us.

Love,
Math Girl

So, several weeks ago, I made empanadas. I used this recipe and stuck to it pretty closely, although I didn’t have raisins, so I used dates, added a bit of carrot, stuff like that. They turned out great and we enjoyed them. But I had lots of leftover filling. So I stuck it in the freezer and resolved to get back to it. Things around the &c house lately are busy and not always awesome, so when thinking about ways to cut corners this week, I decided to get out the frozen empanada filling and figure out what to do with it later.

Yesterday, I sent Christopher three options. I could try making a humongous crust and dump all the filling in and we could have MEGAPANADA. Or combine leftover filling and leftover potato soup and have something approaching Shepanada Pie. Or I could roll it up in tortillas, cover it in salsa and we could eat Enchiladapanada. Or Empanadachilada! Either way, it look the glee of “empanada” and turned it up to 11. Christopher immediately voted Empanadachilada.

Also I took pictures of it. Want to see?

Start with your mise. The beer doesn’t actually go into the recipe, but it’s fun to drink while you cook. Please ignore my filthy counters.

Empanada filling extreme closeup

I cooked the tortillas. Like I said, things are less than awesome lately and I didn’t want to compound that with crumbly raw tortillas. I started out by lightly frying them in olive oil and after about three just gave up and let them fry dry. Again, please excuse my filthy stove. That crust is the remains of some excellent potato soup.

So get a bunch of those done and then put a few spoonsful of filling in there.

Roll up and nestle them together, seam side down. If you use small tortillas and a small pyrex, because that’s what you have, you may need to get creative with the remaining space and tortillas.

You may end up with some leftover leftover filling. At our house, this is an “appetizer.”

The spoon some salsa over everything and bake it for a little while. I did 20 minutes at 350, but you know what you like. I also know that enchiladas have a whole different sauce and there’s cheese and a whole process, but I am busy and so salsa from a jar is how I roll.

Give them a sec to cool down. While you’re waiting, shred some Jack cheese.

Dish up your Empanadachiladas and sprinkle on the cheese. Then sprinkle on some cheddar cos there’s a bag of that in the fridge, too. Empanadachiladas look great in your sunniest Fiestaware bowl.

Cheese closeup

Om nom nom!

I don’t know where it came from or why it sounds so good there, but I’m doing it. Those really seem like the right words. It’s been that sort of season. I need to make up more words to creep the song up further.

• Via David Thompson: Elite Executive Marshmallow Blaster!
• What do you think of the coffeehouse that fired its customers? I say more power to ‘em. I was at the Starbucks in Cahaba Heights the other day and it was covered up with middle-aged men, with Bluetooths and laptops, yammering into nothingness. I ordered a standard drink and waited 20 minutes for it. There was an occasional moment of eye contact where I felt a very, “What are you doing in my office?” vibe. I nearly said, at one point, “Trying to get a latte!” They gave me a free one for the wait.
• Got allergies? You might be too clean.
• From Apollo, advice for troubled hearts: My wife of seven years informed me she’s going to a Nickleback concert. Is divorce my only option?
• Katie Benedict has a lot of videos where Alan Rickman talks about himself and his projects. Y’all, last night I was in WalMart and I saw a big old HP & the HBP stand full of DVDs and there was a huge Severus Snape and my heart felt nothing. I thought, “Hey, they’re less than $20.” I have officially lost that lovin’ feelin’.
• A collection of Extreme Advertisements. I love these. I am so ashamed.
• From Apollo, play like your lives depended on it!
• Related: Plants vs Zombies is an awesome game. I highly recommend you get it. Well worth the $10. I think it’s only $5 if you get it via Steam. If I could, I would buy it for everyone reading as a Christmas present.
• Speaking of Christmas, it seems that a lot of atheists really are just assholes.
• Doctor Who fan builds his own Dalek
• Rhett Butler, libertarian icon:
  

  In an agrarian antebellum society obsessed with the noble ideals of ancient chivalry, Rhett’s attitudes are shockingly modern. He is a calculating capitalist, shamelessly professing his pursuit of self-interest. When Scarlett reproaches him for doubting the Confederate cause, Butler memorably retorts, “I believe in Rhett Butler. He’s the only cause I know.”

  There’s nothing quite like a man totally unashamed to be a man.

• Good news! Young men are shrugging off the slacker look:
  

  “There’s a sense that this return to style, or to a consciousness of how you look, is an attempt by young men to recover a set of values that were at one point very much present in American society and then lost,” he said.

• Learn to Fucking Spell isn’t about spelling so much as usage, but you fucking get the idea. (Via C)
• Also via C, 17 Rules for Surviving the Internets
• A list of controversial donut-related items
• People claim that the average woman eats seven pounds of lipstick over a lifetime:

  I like lipstick much, much more than the average woman. Eep.

• British supermarket chain Tesco withdraws offensive anti-Ginger Christmas card

Average lifetime Bacon consumption? 50? Pounds?

• Not a Ginger? Ginger supportive? Bacon Christmas cards!
• Bistro Roasted Chicken and Sweet Potato Stuffing with Bacon and Thyme
• Bacon, Egg and Leek Pie

  For further contemplation: what’s the difference between and egg pie and a quiche? Is there one? Technique? Depth? Willingness to say “quiche” in conversation?

• Foccacia with bacon and thyme
• Hamhock liquor or Liquid Bacon
• Risottos
  1. Squash and chestnut
  2. Egg
• Shrimp Lejon
• Some more Brussels sprouts and bacon
  1. just plain
  2. with some figs
  3. with emphasis on butter

  Can I just say, if you want to cut down on total verbiage, don’t say, “The Brussels blah blah blah.” Who does that? They’re sprouts. They come from Brussels. Or whatever. Point is, just say sprouts. Yes I’m being intolerant and irrational. I don’t care anymore. I am so fucking sick of bacon. There are adjectives and there are nouns and they don’t do the same thing. Parts of speech! They’re sprouts!

• Baked bacon
• Mustard and jalapeno bacon
• Bacon-wrapped stuff medjool dates. I’ve made bacon-wrapped dates twice now and both times they were a tremendous hit. I highly recommend them. Christopher’s cousin recommend we start calling them Indiana Joneses, but I don’t remember why.
• Push Button, Receive Bacon
• Meat Candy Gift Baskets!
• Maple Bacon lollipops
• Sugar-free chocolate dipped pork rinds. I’m not saying I would eat these. But if I had some and no one else was around or knew I had them, I would try them. And like them. And never tell anyone.
• Soups
  1. Made of cauliflower, but there’s bacon on the side
  2. Chipotle bean
  3. Chestnut and fancy bacon
  4. Rustic Basque chicken stew

  I’m making that last one tomorrow night for people we’re having over (along with a big pot of plain potato soup). I’ll report back if you’re interested.

• Bacon and butternut squash pasta. You know it’s extra fancy cos it says “lardons.”
• Sun-dried tomato and bacon palmiers
• Banana-chocolate-bacon spring rolls
• Honu Girl forwarded me an article saying People Really Love Bacon. Yes, they do. I think now we need to put a lot of research money into finding out whether or not people think the sky is blue.
• Bacon and pimiento cheese potato skins

I’m pretty sure “visit that elephant in my underwear” should be a euphemism for doing something really, really awesome.