Some FFAFs have been wee, some not so wee. This one’s friggin’ huge!

• Adults forget three things every day. You’re forgetting something right now! Dang!
• Indulge in politically incorrect food while you still can!
  

  When at last liberals have rid the world of hot dogs, they can move on to apple pie, baseball, the flag, and mom. Chevrolet has already been dealt with by Chairman Zero.

• David Yates attempts to justify his bad decisions. Succeeds admirably, dammit. Upside: sidebar link will take you to pictures of Anna Friel’s boobies!
• Gross cakes. Seriously. Some of them are really, really gross. You will hurk.
• Misleading, causing public anxiety. Turns out BPA won’t actually make your baby (or you) grow a second head or anything.
• 101 simple meals in 10 minutes or less
• A victim of its own success, the Crocs juggernaut didn’t plan for obsolescence. I read that with a bit of schadenfreude. I think they’re horrifically ugly. I wore freaking Birkenstocks for 10 years. I’ve done my assfugly footwear time.
• Nathan Fillion kisses Serenity right on the lips.
• The Tenth Doctor loves Firefly, though it may or may not be why he chose to wear a long brown coat.
• Incredible Watchmen fanvideo set to “Street Spirit” by Radiohead.
• Blog to live or live to blog?
  

  Many people probably believe that blogging is simply a way for people to waste a lot of time while indulging their narcissistic tendencies and/or posting pictures of cats. This view is mostly correct.

  The rest of it is so profound I’m still trying to get over it.

• The 13 types of tweeters. If I– and I say this in the same tone and with the same inflection as Adam Baldwin in the first chase scene in Serenity– YOU SHOOT ME IF I GET LIKE THAT!

  Where’s my grenades?

• A gentleman is very MacGyver-ish:

  Whether he’s fashioning weapons out of office supplies during conference calls, cobbling together quick hydraulic smoking apparatuses on lunch breaks, popping the governor off his rented Mexican moped for reckless speed or fermenting secret hooch in the commode of his spacious jail cell, an ever-clever gentleman can be counted upon to wield brain over brawn in desperate, often dangerous, situations.

• From Honu Girl, Catcerto!
• Whoopie pies are not the new cupcakes. They are the suck. They need to sit down and STFU.
• Also via Honu Girl, Two things: 1. Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters! 2. NEW HITCHHIKER BOOK WTF?!
• Mom! My desert looks like vagina!
• Mt. Everest, photographed, by a person, from a mile above!

• The Pope publishes his third encyclical:

  Caritas in Veritate is a reminder that we cannot understand ourselves as a human community if we do not understand ourselves as something more than the sum or our material parts; if we do not understand our capacity for sin; and if we do not understand the principle of communion rooted in the gratuitousness of God’s grace. Simply put, to this pope’s mind, there is no just or moral system without just and moral people.

• Is Torchwood the BBC’s most pro-American show? Is Captain Jack Harkness the ultimate American character?
  

  John Barrowman plays the omnisexual Harkness with a boyish glee. He displays a love and aptitude for violence. He shoots first and asks questions later. He knows that terrorists, even alien ones, should never be negotiated with or trusted. At times, his brash refusal to display empathy or appease hostile forces leads to personal catastrophes and losses, but at the end of the day, he is right. Evil is defeated.

  Those questions aside, do I need to set aside some space for us to talk about Torchwood: Children of Earth? I finished watching the recordings this week. I know Honu Girl is trying to block out some time to do the same. Anybody else? I was prepared to hate it, but it was a really well-constructed adventure in horror, I think. The ending has me a little adrift, but I’m pretty sure I like the direction they’re going to take. And I’d really like to see Lois Habiba some more, especially if the rumors are true and Dr. Martha Jones won’t be reappearing.

• Ben Stein thinks he knows why President Obama is in such a hurry to pass healthcare legislation. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
• More on the third Firefly companion book. Behind the scenes stuff maybe, but all very “hush hush.” So, yeah, sorry, not a lot more. Just more wondering what is there left? That’ll be its sub-subtitle. Firefly: Still Flying: Still Wondering.
• Five lies all women tell should be retitled Five Phrases that Alert You that Your Woman is Communicating Differently Than You So You May Want to Pay Attention and Coax Her to Tell You What She Really Thinks, Unless You Don’t Want to Know, in which Case What are You Even Doing with Her?
• The 10 Most Useless Kitchen Gadgets. Most of these are pretty useless. But I actually employ one of them on a regular basis– #5, the garlic peeler. If I’m just using one or two cloves, yeah, I’ll just smash and go. But if I’m using many, like a whole head of garlic for a big thing of guacamole, I put three or four cloves on a little rubber circle, fold it over, and rub. And they’re all peeled at once. The circle is one of those little things that makes it easier to open jars. I use it way more for garlic than I do for jars.
• Does academic conformity harm science, other disciplines?
• LOLRevolution:

  From: george@empire.gov
  Sent: July 4, 1776, 3:22 a.m.
  To: tomjeff@monticello.com; jadams@mass.col; benf@penn.col; livingstonipresume@ny.col; rsherman@conn.col;
  Subject: RE: FW: RE: George

  NO FUDGE THAT I AM THE KING BEN DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU SAY I AM NOT THE KING OF YOU YOUR WRONG. IF YOU DONT LIKE THE WAY I RUN AMERICA THEN GO BACK TO FRANCE YOU FRENCHMONGER

  HIS ROYAL MAJESTY
  KING GEORGE WILLIAM FREDERICK
  OF THE HOUSE OF HANOVER
  SO ORDAINED BY THE WILL OF OUR LORD
  “It’s Good to Be the King” – Mel Brooks

Bacon-Adjacent, Not So Wee

• Fig and Prosciutto pizza topped with Arugula salad
• Prosciutto wraps. This looks to me like a base for something sublime waiting to happen. Suggestions?
• Rubik’s Cube sandwich, which includes no bacon but many other varieties of tasty pig, including straight up lard.
• Canteloupe, Bocconcini and Prosciutto salad
• Vegan BLT salad featuring tempeh strips. You could always just add real bacon!

Bacon, Also Friggin Huge

• Bacon cakes
• Maple chocolate pudding with bacon spoons
• Primal salad with fig, bacon and pecan (Note: I read a bunch of that website and she has many good recipes. I don’t think she means “primal” in the way we were talking primal a couple weeks ago– as in rotten. She means it in more a caveman / few or no processed foods way. So don’t let the primal throw you off a great site.)
• Bacon chipotle sauce. What would you put this on?
• Bacon and egg tarts
• Bacon wrapped potato bites with spicy sour cream dipping sauce
• BLT + Cobb Salad = Yes Please Now
• Butternut squash and bacon mac’n'cheese
• Bacon flavored toothpicks
• The Royal Bacon Society (I am compelled to add, “Not as in Francis!”)
• Bacon, egg, and goat cheese breakfast pizza

See what I mean about the friggin’ huge? Wow!

Free for All Friday returns bearing plenty of links! More and more people are starting to send me stuff specifically for this purpose and I think that that is really awesome and it makes me feel quivery, in a good way. This week, we’re totally bookended by Apollo! And then, not a lot of bacon this week. We may have to come up with some emergency back-up food to hunt for all week. What do you think?

• From Apollo, Can eating meat be good for the environment? I’m just glad some person I’ll never know and who’ll never know me has given me permission to feel okay about eating hamburgers on Tuesday. I was tore up about it.
• From Doc, the Invective of the Week: useless shower of cunts.
• From Nicki, Hogwarts Post Office!
• From Skillzy, The News of the Week, digitized, remixed, with commentary. It’s the news of last week, actually, but play along please.

  Question, could Michelle Bachman be the anti-Palin?

• Speaking of Sarah Palin, you must go right now and read SHOTGUN TOTING SARAH PALIN vs. ZOMBIE AYN RAND. You will laugh so hard. I promise you. I PROMISE WITH CULLEN SPARKLES. If you don’t laugh, I’ll owe you. I’ll owe you big time. You can make demands. You could even demand that I actually read Twilight (if you were mean).

• Photon is very cool. Go click around.

• The things they get up to with mascara these days.
• First pictures of The Eleventh Doctor and his lovely Companion. I’m a little put off by her wearing burgundy chucks. They best make Eleven point that out, since it’s such a Ten thing.

  I’d like to post a Cavalcade of Chucks. I’M WAITING ON YOU, MIRANDA!

• Ladies, please. Stop dressing like hookers.
• Black sambuca, absinthe, gin, and bitters? The You Know Who cocktail.
• If that’s a bit too much, how about Butterbeer?

  I once had a Hunter in WoW who had a pet velociraptor called Butterbeer. Those were the days. Christopher has a hunter now, with a pet bear named Macewan, after Skillzy’s main. Touches the heart.

  Then she got my hopes up with a recipe for Cockroach Clusters, but it turns out it’s just popcorn balls with whole pecan halves pressed into the outside. I see where she’s going with it, but I’d like for her to take it farther. The officially lisenced candy version of the Cockroach Cluster was just molded, chocolate covered crisp rice. Like a Krakle bar, but molded so that it looked really pretty cockroachy. I always imagined them to be like the cheez-dust covered crickets. Like roaches, with a thin coat of milk chocolate. Or roach parts all mashed up and dumped in chocolate coating, then mounded, like haystack candy. Yes, I’ve put a lot of thought into this.

• Graffiti Font Throwup. Weird name, but a fun little app.
• No NHS, please. We’re American.
• A Janitor’s lessons in leadership.
• Ten Unfortunately Named Drinks
• Ladies and Gentlemen, Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford and his Porcelain Unicorn Commission.
• Infographic: Religious teachings on sex
• How to blow your nose. You’re welcome!
• From Just Plain Chris, The Gettysburg PowerPoint Presentation.
• People with more traffic than me agree, the new Harry Potter is absolutely fucking terrible.
• Understanding World of Warcraft with Super Mario Brothers metaphors.
  

  Warcraft is a lot like sex in that you can’t really get anything done unless you have at least five people. But let’s look at the figures: A five-man group in World of Warcraft contains one to five dicks and four to five idiots. Getting a WoW group to do anything together is harder than getting a bag of chickens its SCUBA certification.

• Matthew Lewis, one “Neville Longbottom” in the aforementioned HP attempt at movie-making, discovers Leeds, Alabama.

  I should be nicer. He’s played Neville in all of the movies and done just wonderfully. His face is Neville’s face for me now. And he was wonderful in this most recent movie, with what little they gave him to do. He’s a fantastic reactor. Leeds, Alabama is yonder, not far to the east of where I am now. Not much to do there, but if he wants to visit, we could go to Chik-fil-a or something.

• And from Chez, who got it off Apollo, LOL Jesus.
  

  Chez: It’s a picture of Jesus that says “BRB.”
  Chez’s friend Shelley: You’re goin’ ta hayull!
  Chez: THAT SHIT IS AWESOME!

• RIP, sweet little Taco Bell Chihuahua.

  Speaking of dead, yesterday Twitter led me to believe that Eric Estrada might be dead. But he’s okay. I’m pretty sure he is, at least.

• Do you think good sex is complicated, difficult, naturally very different for men and women and supremely worth the effort? I think I do. I’m still cogitating, tho.
• The original twitter machine

bacon is proof of God’s love

• French toast macarons, with smokey bacon custard and maple glazed bacon
• Jalapeno bacon cheddar cheeseburgers (remember–these may only be eaten on Tuesdays)
• Scroll down a bit for a beauty shot of chocolate-covered bacon that will make you ache. The rest of the article is fun and interesting, too! On fair food and all that can be fried.