Free for all Friday 50
5! 0!
- Via David Thompson: Elite Executive Marshmallow Blaster!
- What do you think of the coffeehouse that fired its customers? I say more power to ‘em. I was at the Starbucks in Cahaba Heights the other day and it was covered up with middle-aged men, with Bluetooths and laptops, yammering into nothingness. I ordered a standard drink and waited 20 minutes for it. There was an occasional moment of eye contact where I felt a very, “What are you doing in my office?” vibe. I nearly said, at one point, “Trying to get a latte!” They gave me a free one for the wait.
- Got allergies? You might be too clean.
- From Apollo, advice for troubled hearts: My wife of seven years informed me she’s going to a Nickleback concert. Is divorce my only option?
- Katie Benedict has a lot of videos where Alan Rickman talks about himself and his projects. Y’all, last night I was in WalMart and I saw a big old HP & the HBP stand full of DVDs and there was a huge Severus Snape and my heart felt nothing. I thought, “Hey, they’re less than $20.” I have officially lost that lovin’ feelin’.
- A collection of Extreme Advertisements. I love these. I am so ashamed.
- From Apollo, play like your lives depended on it!
- Related: Plants vs Zombies is an awesome game. I highly recommend you get it. Well worth the $10. I think it’s only $5 if you get it via Steam. If I could, I would buy it for everyone reading as a Christmas present.
- Speaking of Christmas, it seems that a lot of atheists really are just assholes.
- Doctor Who fan builds his own Dalek
- Rhett Butler, libertarian icon:
In an agrarian antebellum society obsessed with the noble ideals of ancient chivalry, Rhett’s attitudes are shockingly modern. He is a calculating capitalist, shamelessly professing his pursuit of self-interest. When Scarlett reproaches him for doubting the Confederate cause, Butler memorably retorts, “I believe in Rhett Butler. He’s the only cause I know.”
There’s nothing quite like a man totally unashamed to be a man.
- Good news! Young men are shrugging off the slacker look:
“There’s a sense that this return to style, or to a consciousness of how you look, is an attempt by young men to recover a set of values that were at one point very much present in American society and then lost,” he said.
- Learn to Fucking Spell isn’t about spelling so much as usage, but you fucking get the idea. (Via C)
- Also via C, 17 Rules for Surviving the Internets
- A list of controversial donut-related items
- People claim that the average woman eats seven pounds of lipstick over a lifetime:
I like lipstick much, much more than the average woman. Eep.
- British supermarket chain Tesco withdraws offensive anti-Ginger Christmas card
Average lifetime Bacon consumption? 50? Pounds?
- Not a Ginger? Ginger supportive? Bacon Christmas cards!
- Bistro Roasted Chicken and Sweet Potato Stuffing with Bacon and Thyme
- Bacon, Egg and Leek Pie
For further contemplation: what’s the difference between and egg pie and a quiche? Is there one? Technique? Depth? Willingness to say “quiche” in conversation?
- Foccacia with bacon and thyme
- Hamhock liquor or Liquid Bacon
- Risottos
- Shrimp Lejon
- Some more Brussels sprouts and bacon
- just plain
- with some figs
- with emphasis on butter
Can I just say, if you want to cut down on total verbiage, don’t say, “The Brussels blah blah blah.” Who does that? They’re sprouts. They come from Brussels. Or whatever. Point is, just say sprouts. Yes I’m being intolerant and irrational. I don’t care anymore. I am so fucking sick of bacon. There are adjectives and there are nouns and they don’t do the same thing. Parts of speech! They’re sprouts!
- Baked bacon
- Mustard and jalapeno bacon
- Bacon-wrapped stuff medjool dates. I’ve made bacon-wrapped dates twice now and both times they were a tremendous hit. I highly recommend them. Christopher’s cousin recommend we start calling them Indiana Joneses, but I don’t remember why.
- Push Button, Receive Bacon
- Meat Candy Gift Baskets!
- Maple Bacon lollipops
- Sugar-free chocolate dipped pork rinds. I’m not saying I would eat these. But if I had some and no one else was around or knew I had them, I would try them. And like them. And never tell anyone.
- Soups
- Made of cauliflower, but there’s bacon on the side
- Chipotle bean
- Chestnut and fancy bacon
- Rustic Basque chicken stew
I’m making that last one tomorrow night for people we’re having over (along with a big pot of plain potato soup). I’ll report back if you’re interested.
- Bacon and butternut squash pasta. You know it’s extra fancy cos it says “lardons.”
- Sun-dried tomato and bacon palmiers
- Banana-chocolate-bacon spring rolls
- Honu Girl forwarded me an article saying People Really Love Bacon. Yes, they do. I think now we need to put a lot of research money into finding out whether or not people think the sky is blue.
- Bacon and pimiento cheese potato skins
“…it seems that a lot of atheists really are just assholes.”
First: Huh? Where did Gregory of Yardale (OP on the linked site) get the idea that “militant theophobes are celebrating that an Arkansas judge is letting them put forth a display celebrating nihilism and meaningless[ness]” from the article he linked to? They sued for the right to put up a display celebrating the winter solstice. Winter solstice = nihilism and meaninglessness? Since when?
Second: Newsflash!! A lot of Christians are assholes, too: Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptists, the Ku Klux Klan, Spanish Inquisitors. And a lot of Christians and atheists are not assholes.
Way to be indiscriminately and unnecessarily offensive.
Comment by Philosaur on December 18, 2009 at 9:04 am
I respect the coffee house that fired its customers. I hope they succeed, because yeah, too many coffee places feel like offices now.
I’m sorry you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling with Snape. It hurts to lose someone you love, even when it’s time.
Don’t be ashamed of loving the Extreme Ads, because they. are. AWESOME.
I’m sorry that you’re sick of bacon. But please tell me how the chicken stew turns out! Sounds YUMMY. Did I ever tell you that I know a little Basque (the language)?
Comment by Honu-Girl on December 18, 2009 at 9:10 am
Oh! I missed the Ginger Card thing the first time through! I don’t think the card is offensive necessarily, but certainly tasteless. I don’t think I would have asked to have it removed, because that just draws more attention to the card.
Comment by Honu-Girl on December 18, 2009 at 9:25 am
I was thinking of this bit of his commentary:
Second: Newsflash!! A lot of Christians are assholes, too
Don’t I know it. Apparently, I’m one of them.
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 9:36 am
You did not! What Basque do you know? I was thinking about Basque language and culture the other night, wondering what I could start looking up about it.
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 9:36 am
Yes. And I don’t think I would have allowed myself and my kids to be photographed with it looking all dour.
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 9:38 am
That guy’s Dalek would be more impressive if he wasn’t having to push it around. They made a Dalek cake on Ace of Cakes just last night, it was pretty cool, although I think it pretty much stops being a cake once you put motors and speakers inside it.
And I didn’t read the recipe, but isn’t a lardon what a guy gets when he thinks about bacon?
Comment by skillzy on December 18, 2009 at 10:01 am
More impressive, but also more scary?
isn’t a lardon what a guy gets when he thinks about bacon?
WELL SAID!
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 10:12 am
I took a linguistics class in college where we had to “decipher” a language. Essentially, we asked a native speaker who also knew English how to say things, and we wrote the response down phonetically to try to decipher words, structure, etc. So I can say certain phrases, nothing really useful, though.
Comment by Honu-Girl on December 18, 2009 at 10:35 am
They were probably told “Look serious, and whatever you do, don’t smile!” Which just makes things worse.
Comment by Honu-Girl on December 18, 2009 at 10:59 am
I imagined the same thing. I imagined a full 20 minutes of trying to get all three little girls into a vaguely similar state of sadness, and that it was a job of work.
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 11:00 am
If that gun also shot graham crackers, chocolate, and fire there’d be no way I didn’t own one.
I have allergies but I’ve never once been accused of being too clean.
I, too, am a sucker for those extreme adverts. Because I never get tired of “OH SWEET FUCK I JUST PEED A LITTLE IS THAT A BOTTLE?”
RE: Atheist. A lot of people in general are just assholes. Don’t even need to click the link.
I wonder if 1) I have a slacker look and 2) If I should ’shrug it off’.
I kind of want to punch the “Learn to Fucking Spell” guy despite the fact that I agree with his sentiment. He needs to get right the fuck over himself.
That makeup commercial made me feel uncomfortable.
Please save me some Rustic Basque Chicken Stew. Or, as I originally typed it, “Rusty Bass Chicken Stew.”
Comment by Apollo on December 18, 2009 at 11:13 am
But that bit of commentary is a red herring. The atheists’ display has nothing to do with their being motivated by reason and skepticism, and everything to do with First Amendment rights. From the source article: “…the Arkansas Society of Freethinkers…sued Secretary of State Charlie Daniels after he refused to grant permission for the group to put up its display…”. Daniels testified that he refused permission because the display “did not go along with the Christmas theme or holiday theme.” WTF–he refused on esthetic grounds? How is this NOT a clear violation of their constitutional rights?
Plus, it’s apparent that Yardale didn’t even read the original article, as evidenced by this gem:
“Why not have your celebration of nihilism and self-centeredness in one of the other 11 months of the year, if it’s not about an ‘in yer face’ to Christians?” Easy: because the atheists’ display celebrates the winter solstice–which happens to be the holiday early Christians co-opted during their campaign of proselytization of European pagans. (Or do you believe that’s just atheist propaganda?)
In this country, atheists are very much the minority fighting for equal rights–not the other way around as Yardale (and you, apparently) seem to think.
In any case, I always thought you were a staunch supporter of the First Amendment. What about this case makes it less deserving of that support?
[quote]Don’t I know it. Apparently, I’m one of them.[/quote]
Ironic self-deprecation = Weak sauce.
Comment by Philosaur on December 18, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I am a big supporter of the First Amendment. I liked Yardale’s screedy tone. And his point that it’s often not enough to live and let live. It must be repeatedly driven home that the other party is stupid, illogical, overly-emotional, whatever. You find Yardale stupid, illogical, over-emotional, etc. Okay.
It’s entirely unfortunate that so many atheists feel so oppressed by everyone else’s religious expression and ignorance of the various historicities of “traditional” winter celebrations. Do atheists deserve to be ridiculed? No. Should Christians get upset if atheists want a solstice display? No. Should atheists get upset at a nativity scene. No.
I wasn’t being ironic. I know Christians who are assholes. You apparently think I’m an asshole. Okay. Unless you were kidding, in which case, give me five minutes to recalibrate my sense of humor.
The whole ffaf thing isn’t me listing my ideas every week and calling people out on them specifically so everybody that shows up can know exactly where they stand. It’s stuff I read that I think might be interesting, in a good/bad/otherwise way to other people. I’m sorry that I pushed a sensitive button for you.
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I think it means your insides are too clean. And what it is about the Extreme Advertisements? Whatever it is, it’s the same horrible thing that makes me like the I’m on a Boat song. I don’t know if you have a slacker look. You have a nice pea coat and fedora, so I bet not? But I’ve only seen you in casual situations. What do you wear to work? I think the makeup commercial was supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. It made me feel perverse. I’ve reapplied my lipstick about 10 times so far today. And will certainly update on the chicken stew. I have high hopes. Even though I am using roasted red peppers out of a jar.
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I think that as long as all of us believe in bacon, things are gonna be alright.
Comment by Skillzy on December 18, 2009 at 2:38 pm
The Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of this Exhange
—————
You: Atheists are assholes.
Me (an atheist): All groups have some members who are assholes.
You: So now you think I’m an asshole…
—————
Your Jedi mind-trick rhetorical technique has vanquished me. I honestly don’t know how to follow that. Should I just leave and not come back? No–seriously?
Comment by Philosaur on December 18, 2009 at 3:11 pm
I would condense it like so:
Me: Here’s an article where a guy says atheists are assholes
You: I’m offended that you make sweeping generalizations about who is and is not an asshole.
Me: I guess that makes me one, too. Sorry.
You: [Help me out here. Are you more saying, "Stop agreeing with me" or "You're a loser"? Or something else? And there's some element of taking your toys and going home there, which you are of course welcome to do, but I would never kick you out.]
Which would bring us up to now? I’m not trying to convince you of anything. Nor am I trying to win any particular argument. I didn’t intend to make a specific argument in the first place. My goal was to link to a hot-issue ranty thing. That I thought was kind of funny and I sort of agree with. Which may make me a jerk and influence you think that I am not worth it and you ought to head for more temperate places. If so, that’s too bad. I’m sorry. If you’d like to make a bigger point about solstice and winter holidays and freedom of speech, okay. That’s fine and you can make it all day long. I’m sorry if I failed to understand that that’s what you want to do.
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 18, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I’ve only met a handful of athiests, all but one of whom have been assholes. Similarly, I’ve met a bunch of vegans. None of them were anything BUT assholes. Christians are about 70% likely to be assholes, in my experience. (Do you like how I lumped vegans in with Christians and athiests?)
I think the guy that wrote that article needs to chill the fuck out. (I do have to wonder if he’d be offended by the Buddha statue I’m going to have under my tree.) [I'm also frustrated that the spell-check in wordpress tells me that buddha is incorrect. It doesn't always have to be capitalized, though in this instance it should be.]
Skillzy is clearly taking a pot-shot at me by saying that we all love bacon, when I clearly do not! I DEMAND RETRIBUTION! (LOLZ)
Comment by Poptart on December 18, 2009 at 6:42 pm
A BLASPHEMER! Cast them out!
Comment by Skillzy on December 20, 2009 at 7:52 am
Your mom is a blasphemer.
Comment by Poptart on December 20, 2009 at 2:08 pm
When I read retribution I thought, “Shit, I already offered to help her move!”
Pop, I think you need to come up with an Asshole scale. At the far end, maximum assholery, are vegans. At the near end, minimum assholery are…I don’t know. Puppies? Buddha statues chillin under the Christmas tree?
Is it kosher to rub Buddha’s belly if he’s under the tree? Is it okay to use “kosher,” “buddha,” and “Christmas” all in the same thought?
I will retributionz you by helping you move and whatever else you like. I’d offer bread but I know that Kira is an excellent baker. Also, I was thinking about you while baking today. If yeast is a living animal, can asshole vegans eat bread?
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 20, 2009 at 6:35 pm
My mom is into turkey bacon. IKR!
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 20, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I just realized I completely skipped the coffee stuff in favor of interrogating you about Basque. Sorry!!
Comment by Sarah, etc. on December 20, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Basque does that to people! Next time we get together, I’ll try to remember some phrases for you!
Mmmmm, coffee…..
Comment by Honu-Girl on December 21, 2009 at 9:24 am
I love that you’ve put vegans up there with atheists and Christians - because all the vegans I’ve met are more evangelical about their veganism than any atheist or Christian I’ve met!
Comment by Honu-Girl on December 21, 2009 at 9:26 am
You made me lol with this.
And a lot of vegans won’t eat things made with yeast, but that tends to make them more asshole-y. Because wouldn’t you be an asshole, too, if you couldn’t eat anything bread, ever ever?
Comment by Honu-Girl on December 21, 2009 at 9:28 am
So, sadly, true. *shakes head at crazy vegans*
Comment by Poptart on December 21, 2009 at 11:17 am
I know plenty of vegans that won’t eat anything but flat bread. To this, I’d point out that boiling water kills microbes. It’s the same argument the Dalai Lama used when pointing out that being proud of yourself for being vegetarian is kind of stupid.
Comment by Poptart on December 21, 2009 at 11:18 am
I think that any buddha would be totally cool with Christmas and eating kosher.
Also, the “rub the belly” thing that people do to the buddha is, I believe, Chinese in origin and not a Buddhist tradition. It’s actually considered kind of like worshipping an idol, depending on what buddhist you ask. I would have no problem with rubbing a buddha’s belly if it was under a Christmas tree, but the buddha statue I want to put under our tree is actually a piggy bank from Borders that’s covered in a ridiculous amount of gold glitter, so it might not be advisable. (It will go very well on our shiny purple spandex tree skirt.)
As for asshole-ery scale (0-5):
0: babies of all kinds and plants that don’t have poison, thorns or prickles
1: spiteful kids and young animals; plants that have poison, thorns or prickles
2: people who drive like teh dumb, people who can’t wait their turn, people who feel entitled to things they have no reason to feel entitled about
3: people who date someone for the sake of screwing them, then dump them with no respect for their feelings; petty thieves; people who don’t tip wait-staff
4: people who don’t tip delivery staff; business and law professors; sociologists
5: militant religious folks;militant vegans; militant non-religious folks; violists
6: child killers/molestors (notice the scale was only 0-5 and that these guys are a 6 - I could be persuaded to the death penalty for these people)
Comment by Poptart on December 21, 2009 at 11:28 am
If your checking account request has been terminated more than once, you are very likely feeling very annoyed about your case. After all, not knowing how to get a new checking account could actually put load in your financial life. And although it is pretty much impossible to remove yourself from their database, there is a trick: you can search for a bank which does not apply ChexSystems at all. These banks exist, if you be able to find them.
Comment by Josie James on July 30, 2010 at 5:39 pm